I realized at this point in my life I’m nowhere where I want to be. I don’t want to be that guy anymore who talks about how crazy the night before was because he was so hammered, or how much of a shit show everything was. I’m not saying I don’t want to go out and have a good time, that’s completely unrealistic. I want to be a guy who tells people stories about how awesome their weekend was because I went rock climbing, hiking, went on a bike ride; did a photoshoot, hung out with friends and went on a crazy adventure; not the guy who comes into work hating life the next day because he’s so hung over from the night before. I feel like some people may have lost some respect in me, seeing me now as someone who struggles through the day just waiting to go out again, and that’s not who I want to be seen as. I’m going to treat this trip to Vegas as wake up call that I need to focus on school and my actual interests, rather than the crazy partying 21 year old. It’s one thing to have a good time with friends, but it something completely different when it starts affecting you at work, your relationships, and most importantly school. Looking at things now, I realize how unhappy I’ve been for a while, and I feel like I’ve been filling this void of self appreciation and satisfaction with drinking. I know things will start looking up as soon as I find that sense of accomplishment.
I remember having a class in high school with Rachel. I always thought to myself I should get to know her, but I never got the chance. I hope she realizes how many people care about her, whether they know her or not.This is my sister Rachel, she just turned 21, she is my best friend in the entire world and I love her more than anything. My sister Rachel has been addicted to Heroin since 2007, we didn’t know until 2008, she has been in and out of rehabs since then, in and out of jail, and she has been on and off of heroin multiple times. Rachel was clean for three months up until about a month ago. She relapsed on heroin and overdosed, she violated her probation, and is now in jail once again, she will be entering a rehab as soon as she is released from jail. One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed over these past 4 years was the change in self esteem, she doesn’t seem to think anyone cares about her, but I want her to know that this is not the case at all, I want her to see how many people love her, and how many people want her to get clean this time FOR GOOD. I’m not asking for some bullshit donation, just a simple LIKE or REBLOG to show her that you care, and when she gets out jail, I’ll show her the notes. I just want the sister I grew up with back, and maybe this small thing is all she needs, maybe all she needs to help her get back to sobriety is to see that people DO CARE.
I love this girl. We became really good friends our freshman year in high school. We were both super skinny so we called each other “twins”. She became like a sister to me. I want nothing but the best for her and the rest of her family. They are all some of the most loving and kind people I have ever met.
I always find it really strange how you can become so close to someone without ever really meeting them. Rachel and I were constantly texting and calling one another. She and I grew very close and at one point in our friendship I was not a good friend to her, but she forgave me. I never told you how thankful I am that you did forgive me and how much I appreciated our friendship. I am sorry that I haven’t stayed in touch with you Rachel and I hope you can see how many people care about you. I promise, I will be the friend to you that I should have been years ago. You are beautiful, inside and out.
Trans XII, 2011. Dessin aquarelle et fusain sur papier, 43.5 x 31.5 cm.
Trans IX, 2011. Dessin aquarelle sur papier, 43.5 x 31.5 cm.
German photographer Florian Imgrund acquired his first film camera in the summer of 2010 and has made incredibly good use of it since. All of his double exposure work is done completely in camera without the use of photoshop, and often merges human forms with the natural landscape. You can see much more of Florian’s work on Flickr and you can follow him on Facebook. (by Christopher)
I have no idea where I’m going in life. I feel like I need guidance. What’s happened to me?
